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What to expect in he first year of preschool




What to expect in the first year of preschool

This is such an emotional time for both parents and children as for most children this is the first time they will have been left with non-family members. We want to reassure you that every kind of behaviour is normal, and you will not be the first parent to be going through this.

We have all been there both with previous children and our own so have come up with some frequently incurred problems and possible solutions to help you navigate your way through your childs first year at preschool. Obviously, all children are different and what we have found works, is not always going to work for everyone. Picking your battles is key as trying to have an easy life backfires when your child turns 5 and is still playing-up. It is easier to train a toddler than it is a child! Just remember you are the boss and you make the rules (not your child) once your child knows that when you say no you mean no, life becomes easier. Be strong and be consistent. You can do this!



As parents, our job is to reassure our children that the place that we are leaving them in will care for them, keep them safe and enable them to have fun. If you are looking worried or upset at the thought of leaving your child then they will pick up on this and also feel worried. Give your child a big smile, a hug and a kiss. Tell them that you love them, and when you will be there to pick them up. Our day runs to the same routine every day (which is below) and children cope well when they have a time point to focus on . So, if you are picking your child up at 12 you could say after you have played and had carpet time and story I will be there. Children also respond well to visuals so you could always have a copy of our routine in pictures at home to reinforce when you will be there. Then hand your child to a member of staff and walk away. This is horrible but so essential as the longer you prolong the goodbye then the more upset your child will become. Believe us when we say if we can not comfort your child and they continue to cry then we would phone you. Try not to bribe your child with a treat, as this is going to work out expensive for you, especially if they attend 5 days a week. Keep the bribes for when you really need them!! Children respond well to trust and consistency. If you have told your child you will be there at 12, then be there at 12. There is nothing worse for a child who is having separation anxieties, than a parent who is late, as they watch all the other children going getting more and more upset. As soon as they trust that you will be back for them they will become a lot more secure and happier. Remember though this separation anxiety is completely normal and essential. It is the body’s way of keeping children safe and stopping them going off with strangers. Most children will go through it and it is up to you as parents and us as staff to reassure them that all is well.




No matter how much energy your child has at home, preschool will wear them out in some way. Our day is packed full and the children are on the go constantly with little down time. Also just behaving and being on their best behaviour (because they are not with their parents) is tiring so expect melt downs. It will help your child to adjust if you can establish a consistent bedtime routine. The recommended bedtime for a toddler is 7pm. To get them in the mood for sleep a warm bath and a snuggle with mum or dad in bed with a story works well. Plus it’s a lovely time to just talk to them about their day. Don’t get caught in the trap of reading the whole of their library to them though (just one technique that children employ!!), let them choose 2 books and then make it clear that it is now sleep time. Experts have warned against using electronic devices less than an hour before bedtime as the blue light that it emits wakes the brain up rather than letting it relax.

Getting them in bed and them staying there are two different things though. If your child is one that likes to keep getting up, then take them by the hand, explain that it is now sleep time, and put them back into bed (no stories though!) If they continue to keep doing this then take them by the hand, refrain from giving them eye contact and keep taking them back and saying good night. It may take a couple of nights of doing this but when your child realises that they are not going to get any more attention then they should hopefully start to settle easier. Which means an adult evening for you!

For the early wakers amongst us, employ the same technique, go into them, tell that it is still sleep time and say goodnight. If they continue to shout, it sounds harsh but ignore them as much as you can. You know that they are safe, they are just annoyed that they are not getting their own way. A Gro clock can help with children understanding that it is still bedtime, especially in the summer months when it is so light. The clock works by glowing blue when it is sleep time and orange when it is time to wake up. This serves as a visual reminder to children so they know when they can get up. The trick to this clock working is consistently, on the part of the parent, so the child knows that they cannot get up when the clock is blue.


Melt downs

All children have these, and usually just at the time when most people are watching! You are not a bad parent if your child chooses to throw themselves in the nearest aisle of the supermarket, they are simply expressing their frustration with the situation that they find themselves in. There are however things that you can do to minimise your childs melt downs. Firstly, give them a choice (and this you have to be clever in). Only ever give them 2 options (children’s brains can’t cope with too much choice as it’s too overwhelming) and make sure the two options are both things that you would like them to do. Therefore they feel that they are being given the choice and you win whichever one they choose. Also using a now and next system can work well. Explain that now you are going to ….. and next you are going to ………. Make sure the next option is the thing that they really like doing as this is the carrot that you will be dangling to make them do the now activity. These strategies won’t stop melt downs altogether but may help to lessen them.



We have all been there, we have slaved over a meal for what feels like days only for our child to turn their nose up at it and demand something else. Children can be such fussy eaters but it is our job as parents to introduce their taste buds to a range of food. Did you know that it can take up to 8 tries of a food for a child or adult to like it? You can help your child to be adventurous in what they will try and eat by:

As much as possible, try and eat as a family, away from the television. You are the main role model for your child and if they see you eating things, they will most likely want to try them too.

 Meal-times are a great time for a chat and trying out new recipes. If possible try and let your child do something to help with dinner, it will make them proud of what they have done and encourage them to eat it too.

Remember you are not a restaurant, all of us work long days and having to cook a variety of different meals is very time consuming. Give your child two choices, they can either eat it or not eat it. If your child chooses to not eat it, simply take it away and eat yours. If they say that they are hungry bring the same meal back. One night of this will not harm your child.




Be prepared to have a lot of time off work in the first few months of your child starting preschool. For most children this will be the first time that they have been in the company of a lot of other children so their immune systems will not have developed yet. They will get every cold, cough and illness going and will need time at home to recover properly. Again this is absolutely normal and means that when they start school they will have a strong resilience to infections. On our website we have posted the amount of isolation time needed for certain childhood diseases. If your child has a cold then it is not necessary for them to stay at home, however if they are constantly coughing or have a continually runny nose that is green and thick then home is probably the best place for them. If your child is ill enough for you to give them any kind of pain medication then they need to be at home.

Top tips for toilet training

Starting toilet training is down to each individual child, follow their lead as to when they show signs of being 'ready'. Using devices that tell your child to try for a wee, don't allow for the child to learn about their own needs, and how their own body works, it's best to steer clear. Toilet training is not a race, and not to be compared with other children...your child will not be an adult in nappies, so take your time! Click this link to the NHS where you will be able to find more advice.

Other useful resources...


Top tips for toilet training
Reading and writing in the Early Years

Reading and writing in the Early Years

As parents we all place a huge emphasis on reading and writing, and quite correctly, as these are the core to all learning.

However, both are a long process and there are many stages that your child has to go through before they are ready to pick up a pencil to write or pick up a book and start reading.


In the Early Years it is our job to focus on 3 main areas of learning: Personal, Social and Emotional development, Communication and language and Physical development. These all tie in together and contribute to a child being able to read and write.

For example:

A child has to feel happy, settled and confident in themselves to try something new. (Personal and social development)

A child has to be able to communicate what they want and need and understand that the written word is an extension of what is said. (Communication and language)

A child has to be physically strong enough to hold and control a small tool, such as a pencil. (Physical development)


So, the big question is what do we do at preschool to aid them in this and what can you do at home to help your child become a confident reader and writer who enjoys words.

For Personal and social development…

We work on the children’s confidence, giving lots of praise for them attempting something new and place more importance on the process rather than the finished result. We encourage them to extend their play, making up stories, playing in a group, talking to others about what they are doing and collaborating. We discuss feelings and behaviour and knowing that some things are unacceptable and that there are consequences to our actions. We practice good listening strategies.

For Communication and Language…

At Preschool we spend a lot of time reading and talking about the books; asking questions like “I wonder what is going to happen next?” We also have lots of signs, environmental pictures and symbols up in the room that the children learn to read themselves. We scribe stories that the children tell us so that they can see spoken word being written down (this shows them that there is a purpose to writing). We are also very careful with the language that we use with the children. We try to comment rather than ask a lot of questions, which can be threatening. We use words such as “I wonder what would happen if…” to get the child to think of solutions. We work on being able to follow simple instructions. We give the children new vocabulary so that they can express themselves.

In the spring term we start to introduce Phonics using ‘Singing Phonics’. This divides the teaching into different aspects starting with Environmental Sounds and Body percussion and leading onto rhyme and rhythm and alliteration and finally teaching some of the letter (grapheme) sounds (phonemes). We do this using a combination of phonic schemes that we used to teach. We have picked out the best bits of each scheme and combined them in order that they focus on different senses in order to help retain the information. For example, we use the rhyme and action song of Jolly Phonics to remember the sound that the letter makes. We use the cards of the Read, Write Inc scheme to remember how to write the letter and we use the games of Letters and Sounds to practice saying the letter sound. The reasoning behind this is not only do children learn in different ways ie some are visual learners, some auditory, some kinesthetic etc but also that all schools in the area use different schemes and therefore if we combine them then each child will be familiar with something and therefore their brain pathways should form quicker.

For Physical Development…

We begin by developing the big movements by running, jumping, balancing, climbing, throwing, climbing stairs etc as without these movements the muscles do not become strong enough to hold a pencil.  We then move onto painting with large brushes and rollers; using hammers, hole punches and scissors; manipulating play dough; threading, peg boards, construction using bricks and junk modelling; mark making with pencils, crayons, chalk etc.

These are all the preludes to holding a pencil.

The next stage is being able to hold a pencil with a strong and controlled grip. A child goes through many grips in their development before being able to hold a pencil in a ‘tripod’ grip that is needed for writing. These grips are developmental and whilst we can encourage the correct grip, a child will usually only master it when they are ready.

The first thing we teach them is how to write their own name on their pictures they make. This is because it is relevant to the child and serves a purpose. For most children this will be the only thing they may write before starting school. For others they then want to know how to write the names of people in their family and other children will then use familiar letters in their play ie writing a shopping list or an appointment whilst in the role play vets.

So that is what we do, how can you help?

Firstly, and most importantly be a good role model.

Do you take time to sit with your child and read a book with them? Do you bring the book to life? Make up character voices, ask questions about the book etc?

Does your child see you reading a book, newspaper, magazine etc?

Does your child get quiet time in the house, with no TV on in the background so that they can fully concentrate on their play?

Do you talk to your child about what you are doing? When you are out and about, point things out to them. Take time to stop and look and listen ie the different coloured leaves, sounds you can hear, numbers on houses, letters and signs along the road. You could even play a treasure hunt game where you have to find numbers in 3 different places etc.

Does your child see you writing?

Can you get them to help you write something ie a shopping list or writing their name in some Christmas cards? For some children this will be just a mark but for others they may be able to form some letters. Each is valuable and means something to the child. If your child is starting to write their own name, rather than getting them to join the dots, give them their name to copy, show them where to start on the letter. If you want some help with the Read, Write Inc cards just let us know. Please don’t teach your child to write their name in capitals, there should only be one capital, at the beginning. It is harder to unteach something than to teach something new.

Lastly DON’T PANIC if your child is showing no signs of wanting to write. That is what school is for! Enjoy the time that you have together, you are your child’s biggest influence so have fun, play and learn together.




It’s not too late to catch-up on immunisations for your child


We all know that the Covid-19 pandemic and resulting restrictions have caused some challenges and delays in accessing healthcare services over the past two years. But if there’s anything positive to be taken from these challenging times, it is a reminder of how effective, and absolutely necessary, vaccinations are. We need that reminder, because during the pandemic we have seen a gradual, but marked decline in childhood immunisation rates in Surrey. There’s likely to be many reasons for this, not least the disruption of home life, routines and working patterns that we’ve all experienced. So, now that the Covid-19 vaccination programme has allowed us to return to some semblance of normal life, it is a good time to think about catching up with other immunisations if your child has missed any.

Vaccines are the most effective way to prevent infectious diseases. They protect you, your child and other members of your family from many serious and potentially deadly diseases. Vaccination prevents up to 3 million deaths worldwide every year. They also protect other people in your community by helping to stop diseases spreading to other people who cannot have vaccines due to existing medical conditions or those with a weaker immune system.

Since vaccines were introduced in the UK, diseases like smallpox, polio and tetanus that used to kill or disable millions of people are either gone or seen very rarely. Other diseases like measles and diphtheria have been reduced by up to 99.9% since their vaccines were introduced. Unfortunately, if people stop having vaccines, it's possible for infectious diseases to quickly take hold in the community again.

The good news is that GP practices across Surrey have worked hard to maintain the delivery of childhood immunisations throughout the pandemic, while following strict Covid-19 infection control measures, so there’s no need to delay booking your child in. You can check your child’s RED BOOK to see whether they are up to date with their routine jabs. To make sure they have the best protection they should ideally be given in line with the UK Vaccination Schedule below:


Quick guide to the UK Vaccination Schedule


As we move out of the pandemic we will all, thankfully, be mixing more widely. So, it’s even more important for children to be up to date with their vaccinations to avoid the spread of entirely preventable diseases, like measles, which can lead to life-threatening complications like meningitis or mumps, which can cause hearing loss.

If you think your child has missed any vaccinations, you need to change a vaccination appointment or you’re not sure if your child has had 2 doses of the MMR vaccine, contact your GP by:

  • visiting their website

  • using the NHS App

  • calling them

It's best to have vaccines on time, but you can still catch up on most vaccines if you miss them. BE WISE and IMMUNISE your child to ensure optimal protection against all vaccine preventable diseases.

Food safety advice for children age 5 and under

Food safety advice for children age 5 and under

How to reduce the risk of choking

Food preparation:

  • remove any stones and pips from fruit before serving

  • cut small round foods. Grapes, strawberries and cherry tomatoes, should be cut lengthways and into quarters

  • cut large fruits like melon, and hard fruit or vegetables like raw apple and carrot into slices instead of small chunks

  • do not offer raisins as a snack to children under 12 months – although these can be chopped up as part of a meal

  • soften hard fruit and vegetables (such as carrot and apple) and remove the skins when first given to babies from around 6 months

  • sausages should be avoided due to their high salt content, but if offered to children these should be cut into thin strips rather than chunks and remove the skins

  • remove bones from meat or fish

  • do not give whole nuts to children under five years old

  • do not give whole seeds to children under five years old

  • cut cheese into strips rather than chunks

  • do not give popcorn as a snack

  • do not give children marshmallows or jelly cubes from a packet either to eat or as part of messy play activities as they can get stuck in the throat

  • do not give children hard sweets

​Food and drinks to avoid


Provide only fresh tap water and plain milk for children to drink. Fruit juice, smoothies, squash, fizzy drinks and flavoured milk, even when diluted, contain lots of sugar and can cause tooth decay. Diet or reduced-sugar drinks are not recommended for babies and toddlers either. For older children, these drinks can fill children up so they’re not hungry for healthier food.

When offering dairy alternatives to cow’s milk:

  • Unsweetened calcium-fortified, plant-based drinks (such as soya, oat and almond drinks) should be avoided before 12 months, however small amounts can be used in cooking. These drinks can be given from 12 months as part of a healthy balanced diet.

  • Do not give children under 5 rice drinks, because of the level of arsenic they contain.

Foods to avoid before around 6 months of age

Ideally, babies should be introduced to solid foods from around 6 months of age. If parents or carers have decided to introduce solid foods to their child before 6 months of age, you will need to work closely with them to ensure a consistent and safe approach.

It is important to remember that there are some foods which should not be given before 6 months of age:

  • cow’s milk

  • eggs

  • foods containing wheat or gluten, including wheat, barley and rye (for example bread, pasta)

  • nuts, peanuts and peanut products

  • seeds

  • fish and shellfish

  • honey – avoid honey until 12 months old

  • if a baby is less than 6 months old, sterilise water by boiling it first and then letting it cool right down - once a baby is 6 months old, this is no longer necessary

Foods to avoid up to 12 months

  • honey for infants under 1 year, as it occasionally contains bacteria which can make them ill

Foods to avoid up to 5 years

  • Nuts, especially peanuts, can cause severe allergic reactions in some children and all settings should have an allergy plan in place. Whole nuts, peanuts and seeds should not be given to children under 5 years old as they pose a choking risk.

  • Raw eggs, or food containing partially cooked eggs, for example uncooked cake mixture and runny boiled eggs (unless they have the red lion stamp or you see the words “British Lion quality”).

  • Foods high in salt such as: sausages, bacon, crackers, crisps, ready meals and takeaways.

  • Sugar – both in sugary snacks and by not adding sugar to food.

  • Foods high in saturated fat such as biscuits, crisps and cakes.

  • Fresh pate (meat, fish or vegetable-based) to reduce the risk of food poisoning.

  • Unpasteurised milk, milk drinks and cheese, mould-ripened cheeses and soft blue-veined cheese, to reduce the risk of food poisoning. However, these cheeses can be used as part of a cooked recipe as listeria is killed by cooking.

  • Shark, swordfish and marlin as the levels of mercury in these fish can affect a child’s developing nervous system.

  • Raw shellfish to reduce the risk of food poisoning, and make sure any shellfish you use is thoroughly cooked.

  • Raw jelly cubes – these are a choking hazard.

Foods to serve occasionally from 6 months to 4 years

  • Although it is recommended to provide oily fish in early years settings at least once every 3 weeks, do not provide it more than twice a week, as it can contain low levels of pollutants.

Useful resources

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Developing speech and language skills

Developing speech and language skills

More and more children are now starting preschool with delayed speech and language skills. In a lot of cases this is nothing to worry about and will usually right itself as a child develops and gets older. However, there are things that we can do to help our child develop their speech and language skills.

To explain how you can help, it is important to understand the stages of language development. This is called the language development pyramid. It is explained below using the analogy of how a child learns what a ball is.

Language is development Pyramid 





  5.  SPEECH – Can the child says ball using the right sounds

  4.  EXPRESSIVE LANGUAGE (TALKING) – trying to say the word ball

  3. UNDERSTANDING OF LANGUAGE (RECEPTIVE)- hearing others say the word ball  and associating it with a ball.

  2.  PLAY AND SOCIAL SKILLS – exploring the ball, giving eye contact

  1. ATTENTION AND LISTENING – being able to focus on the ball


The first stage is attention and listening, a child cannot learn if they are not able to focus. The second stage is play and social skills, being able to interact with others is core to learning. The third stage is understanding of language, listening and understanding what others are saying. The forth stage is expressive language, trying to say the word themselves from what they have heard others say. The fifth and final stage is being about to pronounce words correctly. This pyramid is hierarchical and therefore a child cannot learn to pronounce words properly unless they are competent in all the other stages. Therefore when a child has difficulty in speaking we need to find out which stage of the pyramid they are at in order to intervene.

Below we have given general strategies to help at each stage of the pyramid.


Stage 1: Attention and listening

General strategies to get your child’s attention

  • Reduce background noise

  • Encourage the child to look at you by saying their name

  • Use motivating toys to keep the child engaged

  • Keep activities short

  • Do not assume that the child knows what good listening is. Teach active listening , ie we stop what we are doing, we look at the person talking , we use our ears and we sit still. Use visuals to help.

  • Give your child explicit praise for when they are showing active listening ie you are looking at me so I know that you are listening.

  • Stop and go games ie running games, musical instruments, Sound lotto, sound snap using musical instruments, call and respond .


Stage 2:  Play and Social skills

There is a strong link between play and language development.

The development of imaginative/pretend play  is particularly important as it suggests that the child understands that a picture or object can represent something just like a word can.

General strategies

  • Provide opportunities for a range of different play

  • Specific emphasis on developing imaginative/pretend play

  • Get down to their level and follow the childs lead

  • Use commentary to tell the child what they are doing at their language level

  • Model and extend play

When developing social play

  • Use appropriate eye contact

  • People play, make yourself the most exciting thing in the room, play boo, tickle games, row row your boat, round and round the garden

  • Use ready steady  go games, encourage your child to request more

  • Model taking turns

  • Say the childs name rather than a pronoun and keep repeating the same phrase ie Claire’s turn (not my turn ), Billy’s turn ( not your turn)

  • Refer to good listening skills

  • Teach how to interact and start a conversation, give the child the right vocabulary


Stage 3 and 4: The development of language

How to support language ( both expressive and receptive)

  • Set up a special time, 5-10 minutes each day, reduce distractions, let the child choose what to play with and follow the below criteria.

  • Get face to face – (literally), connect and share the moment together, tune into what the child is interested in, tune into the messages the child is sending you.

  • Observe, wait and listen (OWL) and then respond straight away

  • Comment on what they are doing, if the child speaks in 1 word sentences then you comment in 1 word sentences.

  • Expand on what is being said – repeat what the child says and expand it by adding in a word ie child says “red bus”, you say “yes it’s a big, red bus”

  • Reduce questions and comment instead. Never ask a testing question ie how many wheels does this car have, ask a question that you want to the know the answer to. Remember the ‘hand’ rule, for every question you ask, make 4 comments (try to limit how and why questions, as developmentally children can only understand these when they are about 4 years old)


Stage 5: The development of Speech

General strategies for supporting children with unclear speech are

  • Focus on what the child is saying, not how they are saying it.

  • Model speech ie if a child makes a pronunciation mistake ie the pish is swimming say yes the fish is swimming, over pronounce the first sound.

  • Build self-esteem

  • Don’t make the child say the word again after you have modelled it as this can be upsetting and frustrating for the child

  • Don’t pretend to understand. Encourage them to use gesture, sign or show you what they are talking about

If you are worried about your child’s speech then there are a few resources to help you assess it online, which will tell you if they are where they should be for their age.

  • Universally speaking document

  • I CAN’s progress checker


If you are worried about your child’s language progression, please come and talk to us, as we will also be able to carry out some extra assessments and refer if needed.

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Autism Spectrum Disorder

More and more children (and adults) are being diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). It can, however, be hard to diagnose in young children and takes so many different forms, no two children are alike.


The NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) have published the list below, entitled 'When should I suspect autism spectrum disorder in a preschool child'. August 2020

If you are concerned about your child, not hitting their developmental milestones or just have a feeling that something is not quite right, please come and talk to us. There are places we can refer to and also help that can be given.


If you are finding that your child responds in unusual ways to different situations and stimuli’s then using visuals to prepare your child can work well. These can take the form of now and next boards, routine boards, social stories etc. If you would like more information on any of the above please come and see us.

When should I suspect autism spectrum disorder in a preschool child.

If any of the following signs and symptoms are consistently present across different settings..

  • Language delay or regression, unusual characteristics of spoken language, or reduced or infrequent use of language. For example:

-Language delay may be present with babbling or the acquisition of fewer words than would be expected for their developmental age.

-Regression or loss of use of speech may result in single words when previously 2-3 word sentences were used to hold a conversation.

-Unusual characteristics of spoken language that may include non-speech like vocalizations, odd or flat intonation, frequent repetition of set words or phrases (echolalia) and reference to self by name or you or she/he after the age of 3.

-Reduced and/or infrequent use of language for communication, for example, the use of single words when they are able to speak in sentences.

  • A reduced or negative response to other. For example:

-Reduced, absent, or delayed responsiveness to their name being called despite normal hearing or not smiling or responding to other peoples facial expressions or feelings.

-Unusual negative response to the requests of others.

-Rejection of cuddles initiated by parents or carers, although they may initiate cuddles themselves.

  • Reduced or absent interaction with others. For example:

-Reduced or absent awareness of personal space, or being unusually intolerant of people entering their personal space.

-Reduced or absent social interaction with others, including peers, and rejecting others. When they are interested in others, their approach might be inappropriate and can appear to be aggressive or disruptive.

-Reduced or absent imitation of others actions.

-Reduced or absent initiation of social play with others and a preference to play alone.

-Reduced or absent enjoyment of situations most children like, such as birthday parties.

-Reduced or absent sharing of enjoyment.

  • Reduced eye contact, pointing or gesturing. For example:

-Reduced or absent use of gestures and facial expressions to communicate.

-Reduced or poorly integrated gestures, facial expressions, body orientation, and eye contact.

-Reduced or absent shared attention, manifest by a lack of gaze switching , the inability to follow where someone is pointing (they may look at their hand instead), or not using pointing or showing objects to share an interest.

  • Reduced or absent imagination and variety of pretend play.

  • Unusual or restricted interests and/or rigid and repetitive behaviours. For example:

-Repetitive ‘stereotypical’ movements, such as hand flapping, body rocking whilst standing, spinning and finger flicking.

-Repetitive or stereotyped play, for example opening and closing doors.

-Overly focused or unusual interests

-Excessive insistence on following their own agenda

-Extremes of emotional reactivity to change or new situations, and the insistence on things being ‘the same.’

  • Over or under reaction to sensory stimuli, for example sounds, smells, taste and textures.


Autism Spectrum Disorder
Early Years Resource Packs

Early Years Resource Packs

Here you will find information sheets for a range of issues that you might be experiencing at home. They are produced by the Occupational Therapy team and offer some ideas of things that you can do at home. Please feel free to come and speak to a member of staff if you want any further clarification

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